the battle is starting

went to babysit tiffany and grace today, almost completely forgot :)
really tired, but it was fun playing hide and seek with her.

dinner later with sec4 prefects. was contemplating really hard if i should go
whenever i meet up with them, i just feel very out of place, uncomfortable and insecure. i thought maybe i shouldnt go, dont force myself to go through feelings that i dont want to, want to avoid them.
but then again, maybe this was to make me come face to face with my fears with my own peers?
i dont know, but i have a feeling this is going to be important,
so there im going. praying and singing on the way :)

i can feel darkness trying to close in around me already just after jyc camp where i made new commitments again to God.it is trying to make me doubt my covenant with God.
 i can already feel how fast the heaviness hits just after sunday and even after the htht with ivan, where encouragement was flowing.
After all the victories that God claimed back yesterday.

One day is all it takes for satan to try to rob me of my standing.
I can feel it, the stuffiness of it really.
this afternoon i didnt even realise i wasnt smiling until my dad pointed it out.
I told my spiritman to arise, and that God alone is my strength.
singing songs of worship all the way to tiffany's house and back home.

you will have no hold on me for I am a child of God. untouchable by you.
at the sound of my Father's Name, He will send you cowering in a corner.
I am a princess of God, beautiful because He made me in His image with His hands.
My hope is in the Lord alone, no one or thing has thepower to rob me of the joy God has placed in me.
The battle is starting, but i am prepared, for i know You are there with me.
You are my rock, my strong tower, my true comforter, my covenant holder.
  Amen.

back from Hk!

love the place, the food, the people, even the water dripping onto my head as i walk under aircons.

i feel so happy when im totally immersed in the place that everyone speaks the same language.

finally managed to dare to draw, telling myself,' no pencil,use a pen!', feel accomplished to record bits of my homeland. want to sit on the middle of a street and just draw:)

family camp

Back from family camp!
It was great, saw lots of behind-the-scenes-jobs that we often take for granted, had new insights to many things, great time of fellowship and sharing:) and most imprtantly,
God's presence was so thick in camp, learnt many things, revealed many things.

Let moi try to share the things i learnt,

1. I need support from others.                                                                                                             i'm not in a one-person journey. i need prayer companions, friends, warriors to fight together.  So often i think, " i'm the one going overseas, i'm the one going to experience everything, others wont understand me, there isn't a need to includ others in" How selfish, arrogant i was. God revealed it in camp. Yes, they wont physically be there and may not understand some feelings, but it's not about the understanding, its about the need for each person to need someone else to be accountable to. That when i am there, i know i have a group of people here that i can share the good and bad with. A group that accepts me whatever i do. that doesnt mean i can go do really bad things, but really just having the security that i am not alone in this journey of pushing back darkness and making holiness a norm in our generation, but that there are other such people too.
2. God made a purpose before He formed us. i always thought that God made us first, imagine a clay person, then giving us a purpose. i thought its like a " uh oh, i made a extra person, hmmm, what should i do with her, sigh, guess i just have to anyhow give her a purpose, its alright" NO!   God came up with a purpose first, then made the person for that special, one and only purpose. It's like having a big vat with lots of "purposes" and your name is engraved on it. God then picks "it" up and then forms you. How cool is that? A purpose specially bestowed upon us by God. Everyone has a purpose!dont say you dont have one, this God is a fair God  :)
3. When i sin, its not because im weak. It's because in that moment, i loved sin more than i loved God. so often we think, " ah, because im weak", but its not. It's because in that split second of making that decision, we decided that we want sin more than we love God. So, in every time that we sin, we are proclaiming to satan that,' yes!i love you more'. No! i want to love God more!
4. God defeating Satan is like using a nuclear bomb to kill a mosquito. God doesnt have to use much energy to defeat satan. He Himself is power in Himself. So often we belittle His power. But shouldn't a God that created the whole universe without any materials, very very powerful? Its like placing you in a empty room with nothing, and asking you to make something out of nothing. Only God can do that. Even satan can't create his own things, he tries to use God's possessions, us, to feel powerful.
5. Worship is a declaration to Him.
6. God will reserve that special someone for me, so i do not have to worry, think about it.(yes i know this sounds cliche, and i myself used to think so too, but listen,) so often, as a girl especially(if u are, probably you can identify with this), i often think of my own future, and spceil feelins for someone. But someone told me, " Since God loves you so very much, He definitely will want to make you happy. And since He knows every little bit of you, your deepest desires, things that dont appear on the exterior, things that perhaps you yourself dont know, so then wont He definitely give you someone that is the best for you?" all i have to do is surrender it to God, trusting in Him, that whoever it is, it's the best choice, since its from the Almighty God. All i have to do is wait for His perfect timing.

you don't have to package your words to Me.
I know your words before it leaves your lips.
I know your very thoughts before it forms in your head.




i want to be sweating in december.

wearing a single shirt and pants and be sweating in the blazing hot sun.
i want to exchange the snow for the sun

my desire, but is it their desire?more importantly, is it Your desire?

#1 Your Desire

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governed by the One who knows best

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#2Their desires

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 governed from above

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#3 My desires