there are indeed things that i can be grateful for

i just didnt open my eyes wide enough:)

God was there all along, here with me.
He showed me he smallest little things yesterday of His presence to me, through wah, His creations.
His works made me ask again, didnt i believe that He is real? yes He is!

the smallest things made me smile yesterday,
the yellow and white flower field,
the charity shop,
the sunshine after the heavy rain,
uncle sam and his kindness,
the fog that He created when i breathe out,
the parents that i have with me,
the time that we cooked dinner together in e small hotel room.

God showed me once again the small things that i overlooked,
that was there all along.
that He was there all along,
He never left me, and He won't.


got to go, post pictures soon!

The first few days

Hi everyone in sunny singapore:) i miss you all.

this blog is a place for me to write my honest feelings and thoughts, to feel real, and not having to do it on fb where everyone can see it, so if anyone wants to know my blog, pls ask them to ask me, or if they are close, then oh wells:)

how's mannychester?
the weather here is cold, summer though i thought would be 30 degrees but no, it can drop to 10 at night! wearing 3 layers, its like winter to me. the sun sets at 9:30 pm, and i wake up around 7 without a alarm clock:) AMAZING.

i still cant believe its just been 3 days since i left sing, it felt very long. Initially it was still fun, going to a new place, new weather, different streets, exploring, but it feels like a holiday.
But reality finally sunk in yesterday, and it hurts.
i finally get face to face with them, i think i often avoided them, thinking ' ah, its just another 19 more sundays', IT IS, but the feeling is different.
i feel lonely even when my parents are around.
im always counting forward 7 hrs, thinking of hat everyone is doing in sing.
i walked down the streets, seeing friends talking together, i miss my friends in singapore.
i dont want to be in a new and presumingly exciting place with no one to share the excitement with. its like having something very very very nice to eat, and you have no one to share it with. You end up eating it all up by yourself.


i see my parents, their moods have lightened up, i can see that they are happier, it looks something like a honeymoon i think, both sitting in the front seat, talking/teasing each other abt the directions or something.
but i realise im alone
the thought of not knowing a single person in the whole country scares me.
yes i do know some people, but i dont knowknow them yet. i dont know if they will really accept me for who i really am. i dont know their past, their ways.
i know my friends in singapore, that i love them and they love me, and its geniune, there is no doubt about them. i feel secure, safe.
but when im here, i feel insecure, vulnerable.
i want to have something to look forward to, cells to look forward to, people to look forward to call.


i know i shouldn't be selfish and think i have no one, because my parents are here, its better that they are here isn't it. yes but its still different. im 24/7 with them excluding time in the toilet:)
i feel emotional and want to cry but i dont want them to see and worry abt me.


yesterday, i asked " where are You God?"
and i realised He is here all the time, He knows my feelings, my emotions, its just that i haven't been searching for Him long/ deep enough. but its difficult, i wont say its easy.


all through this whole moving away thing, i think i handled it abit light-heartedly, or i was runnning from my own fears, i always assumed it would be alright, just need to be strong.
but my, i need to be so much stronger, i came face to face with my emotions and raw feelings and its scaring me. i realised i was just doing everything routinely, and journaling and drawing helps:) thanks ben. it let me get the right words to describe my felings, and to write them down, so it isnt just floating around in my mind. i meet them face to face.


dont worry, im not emo, but i would want to cry it out, to call someone and cry to that person, but its ok.

Above all, i can cry to people, but God is the one who wipes my tears.
friends love me, but God loves me deeper.
i can hold my friend's hand, but God can carry me through.



on a high note, i finally saw real live daisies! i only ever saw them on flickr, or internet, so i was really happy to see them.

Love,
April

Really grateful, thankful

i was really very happy, seeing all my friends altogether at a time, it felt explosive! hahha if you get what i mean.

and thanks for everyone who cooked, took pictures, walked ppl in, came:)

i went to bed feeling warm and fuzzy.

Sunday

- i will never learn my destiny until i tread upon weakness

- That's when the power of God manifests.

- Not in human's power, but human's weakness.

it's not a matter of if it will happen, but it's just a matter of time when i will feel that sense of absoloute weakness. but when i encounter it, i want to embrace it, not because of bravery,

but because i build my foundation on God, that He does all things for my good, what i do not see now, He will show me later. What i do not understand, i want His wisdom to understand.

i will embrace it, knowing that He is and will be embracing me.

Sea of feelings

I started counting down, 20 more days.

im thinking of so many things all at a go, ah

Your peace, assurance, i need.

somethings make me happy, but there's time.
will you wait?
or will i wait?

i saw really how dangerous and powerful words can be yesterday.
Father, i pray for patience and love to deal with this, and greater awareness of my own emotions before speaking.
' Out of the same mouth shouldn't come out praises and curses.'

You are higher than my heart.



Thanks for the surprise Jeannie:)

A cord of 3 strands is not easily broken

Ben and Queenie's wedding was beautiful :)

The whole ceremony was so touching. I was glad and very previledged to be able to watch the union of two such God- fearing man and woman together, partnering with God with the rest of their lives. I feel so happy for them.
And i really learnt the meaning of "We love, because God first loved us.". It's so true for the both of them. That they can love each other because of God love.

 
 
Seeing this wedding made me think what my wedding will be like,
a man who can look at me in all honesty and say that he will honour me and God, all of our days,
and that I am willing to do the same.
Most importantly,

I want the both of us to be kneeling and vowing before the cross.

A cord of three strands is not easily broken.

a night of fustration

i cant take it anymore. starting i dont have any problems, but now probably i do. i feel so trapped here, always thinking of what they are feeling. it overwhelms me. if i tell myself dont think about it, i feel bad, like i feel like i just gave up on them.but when i decide to think about them, like, should i do this... do that... if i do this, what will they feel?neglected?insulted?happy?what best makes them happy?i get so fustrated that i need to think of all this. yea its good for him to release but its a burden for me cos i have to be the one who looks like the bad guy, trying to prevent them from finding out, them being unhappy of something that i could have helped avoid if i tried harder, persisted longer. im fustrated with myself. why cant i handle these feelings, brush them aside? this whole thing is turning me upside down. makes me unstable.

But i cant calm this choppy ocean, but i now know my God can.
when i am worrying so much, it kind of let me ask myself, whose strength am i really depending on? who do i really trust. initially i trusted myself, used my strength but of course You had more than me.
I was thinking of solutions for God unconciously when God doesnt need my solutions.
He has the greatest.

i finally bought the air ticket.

i knew this day was coming, and was prepared for it, but seeing a definite date now makes me anxious too.

I will fly under Your wings Lord.

God-given moments, God-given friends

i'm so thankful.

for the friends i have, the family i have,

the things that only You alone can set straight back, the wisdom You gave them, the decisions they made,

the ability to give us choices, and if we fall, You give us the grace to brush our knees, pull us up, and say

" it's all right my child, let's carry on."

When i run this race, i may not be running side by side with you.

we all have different routes, God-given missions to take,

but i know you will be cheering me on,

and i will be cheering too,

we will meet at the finishing line,

rejoicing.

Next 6 years isnt simply 6 years of studying,
but 6 years of lavishing by God.

The safest place is when im in His will.

Covenant- Binding agreement between me and God. A agreement that God will fufill His part, and i in turn will fufill my part.

its much more than a promise, its something watched over by our Father.

thinking of invites and dates

Darkness has no hold over me

 Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in You.
Show me the way I should go,
for to You I lift up my soul.
                                        Psalm 143:8


Dinner yesterday night went quite all right. I learnt something from it, maybe thats why i felt it was important to go, i somehow see God's hand in this.
i didnt feel the need to keep "pleasing" people when i didnt like the way they talked to one another by exchanging unkind words, to the degree that you dont know whether they are serious about it or not.

i didnt feel the need to always be in the midst of some conversation that i wasnt comfortable with, unlike the old me which would have talked, just for the sake of not wanting to feel excluded.
the old me would feel flustered that i couldnt find something/ add interesting things to the conversation.
the old me would feel very concious when ppl started taking pictures without me
the old me would feel left out when they talk about their jc lives, when they dont bother to share with me even if a unsure look was on my face.
God's presence was there with me that night, i felt calmness, even when i was just watching them talk away.

i didnt feel the need to do anything that i felt was 'fake' just to be in the midst of their conversation.


Looking back, i know why the dinner was important spiritually.
God was putting me in a place that i cannot ignore what i feel anymore, and just come straight, that i dont want to please them.
its also like a glimpse of isolation that is ahead of me. when i am flustered, God's calmness washes over me.

thank You Lord for showing me so many things, and for a few real friends who were there, and cared.


Thinking back on the last 2 days that the sudden dryness, stuffiness came, and now that i'm back standing on God's truth again,
i learnt that when God starts to open my eyes more, me grower stronger in Him, and when there is greater intimacy,
satan is afraid and wants to break down, sow doubt, destroy.
satan is afraid when a sincere prayer is said
satan is afriad when friends gather together and share the deep parts of their heart because he knows, thats when us, warriors are united and ready to fight for God

                                                    Father's day surprise! sibling-power unite!

                                                            tripped down to tampines today:)


my strength is in You alone Lord

the battle is starting

went to babysit tiffany and grace today, almost completely forgot :)
really tired, but it was fun playing hide and seek with her.

dinner later with sec4 prefects. was contemplating really hard if i should go
whenever i meet up with them, i just feel very out of place, uncomfortable and insecure. i thought maybe i shouldnt go, dont force myself to go through feelings that i dont want to, want to avoid them.
but then again, maybe this was to make me come face to face with my fears with my own peers?
i dont know, but i have a feeling this is going to be important,
so there im going. praying and singing on the way :)

i can feel darkness trying to close in around me already just after jyc camp where i made new commitments again to God.it is trying to make me doubt my covenant with God.
 i can already feel how fast the heaviness hits just after sunday and even after the htht with ivan, where encouragement was flowing.
After all the victories that God claimed back yesterday.

One day is all it takes for satan to try to rob me of my standing.
I can feel it, the stuffiness of it really.
this afternoon i didnt even realise i wasnt smiling until my dad pointed it out.
I told my spiritman to arise, and that God alone is my strength.
singing songs of worship all the way to tiffany's house and back home.

you will have no hold on me for I am a child of God. untouchable by you.
at the sound of my Father's Name, He will send you cowering in a corner.
I am a princess of God, beautiful because He made me in His image with His hands.
My hope is in the Lord alone, no one or thing has thepower to rob me of the joy God has placed in me.
The battle is starting, but i am prepared, for i know You are there with me.
You are my rock, my strong tower, my true comforter, my covenant holder.
  Amen.

back from Hk!

love the place, the food, the people, even the water dripping onto my head as i walk under aircons.

i feel so happy when im totally immersed in the place that everyone speaks the same language.

finally managed to dare to draw, telling myself,' no pencil,use a pen!', feel accomplished to record bits of my homeland. want to sit on the middle of a street and just draw:)

family camp

Back from family camp!
It was great, saw lots of behind-the-scenes-jobs that we often take for granted, had new insights to many things, great time of fellowship and sharing:) and most imprtantly,
God's presence was so thick in camp, learnt many things, revealed many things.

Let moi try to share the things i learnt,

1. I need support from others.                                                                                                             i'm not in a one-person journey. i need prayer companions, friends, warriors to fight together.  So often i think, " i'm the one going overseas, i'm the one going to experience everything, others wont understand me, there isn't a need to includ others in" How selfish, arrogant i was. God revealed it in camp. Yes, they wont physically be there and may not understand some feelings, but it's not about the understanding, its about the need for each person to need someone else to be accountable to. That when i am there, i know i have a group of people here that i can share the good and bad with. A group that accepts me whatever i do. that doesnt mean i can go do really bad things, but really just having the security that i am not alone in this journey of pushing back darkness and making holiness a norm in our generation, but that there are other such people too.
2. God made a purpose before He formed us. i always thought that God made us first, imagine a clay person, then giving us a purpose. i thought its like a " uh oh, i made a extra person, hmmm, what should i do with her, sigh, guess i just have to anyhow give her a purpose, its alright" NO!   God came up with a purpose first, then made the person for that special, one and only purpose. It's like having a big vat with lots of "purposes" and your name is engraved on it. God then picks "it" up and then forms you. How cool is that? A purpose specially bestowed upon us by God. Everyone has a purpose!dont say you dont have one, this God is a fair God  :)
3. When i sin, its not because im weak. It's because in that moment, i loved sin more than i loved God. so often we think, " ah, because im weak", but its not. It's because in that split second of making that decision, we decided that we want sin more than we love God. So, in every time that we sin, we are proclaiming to satan that,' yes!i love you more'. No! i want to love God more!
4. God defeating Satan is like using a nuclear bomb to kill a mosquito. God doesnt have to use much energy to defeat satan. He Himself is power in Himself. So often we belittle His power. But shouldn't a God that created the whole universe without any materials, very very powerful? Its like placing you in a empty room with nothing, and asking you to make something out of nothing. Only God can do that. Even satan can't create his own things, he tries to use God's possessions, us, to feel powerful.
5. Worship is a declaration to Him.
6. God will reserve that special someone for me, so i do not have to worry, think about it.(yes i know this sounds cliche, and i myself used to think so too, but listen,) so often, as a girl especially(if u are, probably you can identify with this), i often think of my own future, and spceil feelins for someone. But someone told me, " Since God loves you so very much, He definitely will want to make you happy. And since He knows every little bit of you, your deepest desires, things that dont appear on the exterior, things that perhaps you yourself dont know, so then wont He definitely give you someone that is the best for you?" all i have to do is surrender it to God, trusting in Him, that whoever it is, it's the best choice, since its from the Almighty God. All i have to do is wait for His perfect timing.

you don't have to package your words to Me.
I know your words before it leaves your lips.
I know your very thoughts before it forms in your head.




i want to be sweating in december.

wearing a single shirt and pants and be sweating in the blazing hot sun.
i want to exchange the snow for the sun

my desire, but is it their desire?more importantly, is it Your desire?

#1 Your Desire

|

governed by the One who knows best

|

#2Their desires

|

 governed from above

|

#3 My desires

library!

back from the library, really happy!
ah, it ryhmes.
borrowed a few art books, wanna start drawing and sketching again
here are some fm an artist that loves to draw hk, china, makes me really wanna go back

by Lorette E. Roberts

volunteering in church now, really happy.

at least i wake up another day knowing im going to do something

Thank You Lord

the small things to be grateful for in a birthday:)

they made the cake:)

love you three<3

and mummy too

thinking back on yesterday night, i feel maybe it's a small thing. was a never-ending fountain.

i was just thinking about what i could lose, but i didn't realise, how much i have, and how precious they are.

woke up, with a lopsided lip, kissed by a mosquito.

it's funny, made me give thanks for the silliest things like even having a lip

thank You Lord for this day

i am a flower quickly fading

here today and gone tomorrow

a wave tossed in the ocean

a vapour in the wind

still You hear me when im calling

Lord You catch me when im falling

and You told me who i am

i am Yours

:)

maple leaves and nuts

hi, im in adelaide australia now for a week
visiting jillian and her family and attending dad's graduation when he comes over!

its beautiful here:)
today we went to Stirling, a suburb, and the leaves were green, orange, yellow, red!
nuts were all over the ground, picked up alot:))
went to a gardening market and a farm market, and to church today too
just crushed lots of cans, when you recycle here, you get money!1 can= 10cents, today we found 18!
helping to prepare dinner now, watching Hachiko tonight


but i miss singapore though, miss teans when they had the surprise for Nina, Vic, Sam and Jing:(
and missed service today too, ahh
thinking of family back home is everything ok?... but im so far away.
then ah, i thought, if now i miss everyone so much, what will happen when i go manchester.
and its on the other side of the world somemore


You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
and heal all my disease
and i trust in You
i trust in You

family, friends, emotions all into Your hands that meticulously painted the different shades of maple leaves

You are the only thing that is essential here

Persistent Caller
i'm going to be a persistent caller for this
this is what matters even after i leave for manchester
it still matters when im there
it still matters after 20 years.

God is the only essential here.

if only they knew they had a God

a few days before, my dad was driving on the road and i saw a guy standing outside the metal railing, facing the highway below him.
we took a turn to make sure he wasnt doing anything rash and perhaps he was just a repair man. but he wasnt.
he was just staring down into the highway below him.
people called the police i think, and they came, talked to him, persuaded him to get back down and he did.
i felt weird?scared. that you never know what have just happened on that street u just walked down 5 mins ago. because after he was brought away, the road seemed odinary. life for everyone carries on as usual.
But it isnt. it was a place where someone had serious thoughts abt ending his own life.
perhaps he got fired, or broke up with a girlfriend, or have no place to stay.
but i felt sad because maybe he didnt know that he had a God.
and many people here i believe, dont know it.
_________________________________________________

Antonia(a chinese girl my age in uk) saw my blog, and said
' its good to have something to believe in'
despite seeing lots of churches here in manchester, she said most of them are turned into community centres and very little people go to church on sundays.
i asked if any of her friends are christian, she said ' some are, but some dont believe there is a God after all, maybe its just something someone came up with.'

hearing that, sadness and desperation came. desperate for the people here to see that there is a God that exists, that loved them, that cares for them, that loves them despite their grades, looks,behaviours,how rebellious,lost they are.

Pastor said before that long ago, european countries were filled with God, sending missionaries to asia to spread the gospel when asia does not know abt God.
now, the european countries are dry, and asia as we grow stronger, have to go back to europe to show them the light once again.
in that room with antonia, i finally believed taht was true.
what are we going to do to help them?

this trip brought back lots of questions that i was asking myself.
we always hear about going to the ends of the earth for God, or being brought there to do these works.
it hit me that, hey, i didnt actaully had a decision in coming to man. it wasnt that i wanted to go there voluntarily. i just accepted it. the circumstances came together, and it fit into this picture. thinking now, i was literally placed on the other side of the world, away from my family and friends, away from familarity. into a totally unknown place, by God himself.
So now, the thing is, what does He want me to do there? im excited but at the same time scared or dont want to because maybe im selfish? i think of my own discomfort living in this place.
one step closer to manchester, is one step further from singapore.
all in all, i place my emotions and heart to Him.
i dont want to follow my heart, but follow Him.
it takes lots of trust, and am learning now.

__________________________________________________

I got into St. Bedes college!:)) passed the interview and all, school looks old, but somewhat cosy. the steps creak, looks abit like harry potter.

go see: http://www.stbedescollege.co.uk/
 thankful to God for choosing this school.

went to liverpool yesterday to visit my dad's friend. :) really fun, post pictures soon.

housing is still a big question mark.
__________________________________________________

Excited to go back to sing!coming back on wednesday:))))

sometimes i dont know if its good to share so openly here abt my true feelings, makes me feel, hmmm.. vulnurable.

happy to be able to squint at the sun :)

this is gonna be long
living in singapore has made me take the sun for granted
was squinting at the sun today, and hey
it struck me suddenly, hahah that you know in singapore, it's hard to look up to the sky when it's sunny, or complain when we have to squint to see something in the sky..
was really happy to be able to squint at the sun today

smiling to myself like mad in the car hah

being here in manchester made me realise things that i often took for granted in singapore, things that are so simple hahha like the sun, oh yes flowers! a few sprouted along the road today, so really happy :)
the weather here is often cloudy, lots of grey, so even the weatherman was happy when he announced some spring sunshine today
wanted to upload pictures, but cant

today me and my dad went to the university of manchester to walk around the University of manchester
the place is humongous, and very nice, hahah makes me want to study there:)

ohoh and there where lots of different kinds of people too, like nationalities, hahha we get happy when we see chinese people
the Uni is big, its like a small town even haha they have their own small shopping centre too, its like maybe 4 times bigger then smu? just really cool, opened my eyes so much more

wore 2 layers plus a jacket out today thinking since its abit warmer (12 degrees), i could endure it.
but hah had to add another layer on.
its usually 10 degrees here for now, and sometimes i see people jogging in like shorts??hahah 'clapclapclap' to them man.

there are less buildings in manchester, mostly are red-bricked and look like cottages that we asians see in storybooks:) so another nice thing i like, is that the sky is veryveryvery     w   i    d    e. like really, it's nice, no tall buildings blocking your view.
oh my i cant wait to upload the pictures

sunday was cool
we went to this chinese church that my dad's friend's wife went to
the english service had like 20 people, with teens around my age
the worship was different from ky's, like no drums, but there is a worship leader,keyboardist,guitarist.
but they sit down and worship, so its abit weird.
but still powerful worship. even when im in a different place, feeling isolated, im still under the same sky that the same creator made.God in singapore is still the God in manchester.
watched a video sermon, something like john bevere, really cool
but after when someone introduced me to the teens, like no one said hi even i was right infront of them, so was abit sad, irritated.
in my heart, i really didnt want to go back for the afternoon teens session while my dad had his canto one, but ho it was good i went.
after then teens one, 2 girls came up to me, both older and younger by a year, and we clicked quite well
really nice people, exchanged nmbers and emails and all and hahahhaha they are the same as the ppl in sing except for the accent
they know famous korean ppl that we know haha, watch the same dramas, happy to be able to meet them
think im going back there this sunday
so it was really His plan that He brought me back, if not i wouldnt have wanted to go anymore

breakfast these few days consists of
canned hotdogs, bread,butter,tomatoes,cucumber and all:)
we buy from the supermarket the day before and eat them in the morning in the hotel room haha

oh yes SUPERMARKETS here are the best
hahahhahahha
the chocolate/sweets/biscuits section in singapore? times like 5 times, yea thats how much they have:))
theres chocolates, biscuits i have never seen before hahah so happy, will get some back.
hahah imagine buying a snack everyday after school... later i come back after 6 years and people dont recognise me
and they have lots of easter eggs here too

the other day we were in a chinese restaurant in chinatown, and hah
the table next to us had young people speaking with all the singlish
so happy to know singaporeans oversees:)

am at my dad's friend's house now, so thats why we have internet :)
sometimes i miss singapore, wanna be there now, having fun with evryone in the march hols

housing is still a problem that we are hoping to solve.
one uncle is quite eager to let me stay in his house, but his house is far from the 2 schools, then there are other options like renting a place ontop of a roadside shoppe/boutique that a uncle works at...which costs around £650/month, which is around two times sing
feel abit lost, like when i fill up forms, what do i put for address


He will provide

trusting You

at the airport with my dad now:)
flying off at 00:25 and stopping over in dubai, quite excited, cant wait to watch the shows on plane:)
will be back on 24th
manchester will be freezing, 7-10 degrees in the day, up to -2 at night!
might have snow:D anyone wants bottled snow?

this trip, will be having 2 school interviews on 18th, both are quite good schools, william hulme grammar school and st. bede's college.
finding accomadation, seeing churches on sundays, finding a clinic, bank, bicycle shop:)
well, im excited and at the same time anxious for this trip, leaving my mum and brothers alone for 10 days of nearly holidays, i trust that He will look after every aspect while we are gone.
this trip, i hope will also finalise things, i dont like things to be hanging and unsure, and am scared and nervous
but
above all, i will trust in God because He is faithful.
He is the ultimate planner.
my future, i place in Your big wide hands.

Nothing shall seperate me from the love of God

28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

31What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all - how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died- more than that, who was raised to life- is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall seperate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
Romans 8: 28-36

I started to cry. Not of sadness, but happiness perhaps. It's the feeling of  'how more obvious can God show me that nothing that happens can seperate me from the love of him?' , like wow, maybe God knows we will still be wandering around in worry/anxiety if it's not written out word for word out in the bible, so He wrote it there.
Word for word, right there for us to see.
And since the Bible is God's word, the truth, I shall believe in it.

I could feel You in the whole place. You were there, i was just basking there in your love.
He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane, i am a tree
bending beneath the weight of His love and mercy

 Dinner with yingnuo and jeannie last night:) we practically walked the whole stretch of orchard road twice.
Good time :D

lots of sharing, hahah secrets and all.
yingnuo shared of imagining you stop believing in prayer.
prayer is a weapon given to us by God against Satan.
If we don't believe it works,
It's like believing that the knife in your hand doesn't cut.
That's a scary thought to me.

lazy afternoon

how cool is our Creator

water like mosiac pieces

blended mango and strawberry juice with my mum:)

wanna make stuff:)

I went to the library today:) very happy borrowed some books, that made me want to make new things hahaha
i wanna make some drawstring bag:)  
http://www.vertical-inc.com/aranzi_aronzo/cute-stuff
http://www.vertical-inc.com/aranzi_aronzo

AH i know it's in jap, oh wells, it's cute

and i bought HENNA:))
got this cool idea of drawing a watch on my wrist. anyone wants a try?


the past week was hmmm how should i saw, full of surprises:) good and bad ones.
somethings things that happened at home, make me feel unsure of what to do and feel,
and lately yes i get a flood of feelings at one time
and i realized it's really good to have people to talk to things about, things not revolving around how was school, cca, teachers. not saying that these arent't important, but it's great to really know what is happening in your friends' life.
Thanks ivan:)
well teens cell is starting something new too, which im excited and canrt help but feel abit afraid about too. we are going to share about how we are, like really how we are, what we are struggling with, things that are not easily said, to be vulnerable to each other.
So that in the end, we become life-long friends that really know whats happening in each other's lives and to love each other despite the things we once did.
:)


no one got back to moi after job hunting, AHHH i dont wanna go back to Pariss again
fork spoon knife wet tissue, fork spoon knife wet tissue......x500

the past 2 weeks going out with SC friends brought me to nice places to eat, and at reasonable prices too!:))happyhappy
wanna bring esther they all there one day, there is a cute little japanese place tucked away beside OG orchard hahahhahah

and Shokudo!i fell in love with it:)

im going to help my brother with his ting xie now

a new beginning

I'm excited with this blog :)

the next few months looks foggy, but im learning to believe and trust in Him.
i believe this is going to be a test.

im learning slowly to place Him above
my emotions,
my insecurities.
im placed through this to know what it means to fully fully depend on Him.

Imagine swimming deep in the sea,
its like gently combing away the seaweed in front of myself,
there are curtains and curtains of them
but when it's all over
i find that secret place again